When you experience something traumatic and life changing it is like those feelings and emotional state are forever frozen and ingrained in you for the rest of all time.
Of course the adult rational side of me understands that what happened to me when I was a child is not my fault. Reconciling the two is a whole different thing entirely. Yet that is my home work. Working to teaching myself a new thought process.

( Cut for the sake of those who don't wish to read this topicCollapse )

So I just realized that I hit my mininanowrimo goal already. I had decided to write a minimum of 500 words a day for a total goal of 15000 by the end of November.

Well if I am at 16678 on the novel in progress not counting the small amount I did on the failed side project, I have succeeded.

Does this mean I am stopping writing? Hell no. What I have learned is that I can't go against my muse. I so wanted to polish up a short story to submit to an anthology with a deadline of November 30th. Except it was the most painful writing I attempted for three days. I switched back to the novel in progress and despite being sick and in pain, I managed to write several hundred words each day.
Today I wrote 1524 words.
I would say I am maybe a quarter of the way through the story.
It's weird. I know how the story ends and I have an idea of how it gets there, but for the most part it's a blank slate. Except I have a plan and milestones I need to reach character wise.
The urge to go back and rewrite sections has become so bad that I have stopped listening to it. I fear if I do, I will never continue forward and that would be detrimental in itself.

Great Big Sea -Something Beautiful
"Let It Go"

Hey man, you don't know what you're missing
You count your curses and forget about the blessings
Don't you think you should learn a little lesson
What are you waiting for?

Hey man, what makes you so special
Can't seem to find the angels for the devils
Don't you think that if you learned to love a little
You'd live a whole lot more

[Chorus]
Let it Go Let it Go
This is smaller than you know
No bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road
Let it Go Let it Go
Got to leave it all behind you
Give the sun a chance to find you
Let it Go

Lift you head, there's no time for crying
You made your bed but don't think its fit to lie in
Wasted on the ground when you know you should be flying
What are you waiting for?

[Bridge]
How can a man not see
It seems so clear to me
You've just got to live and learn
Smile at the simple stuff
This road ain't long enough
To miss a single turn

Well I am back on track writing wise. It's weird writing the story out this time. It's the same but not the same. Today was a tough bit to write mainly because I kept feeling like it was dragging and boring.
I suspect that it's more my impatience to get on to what I feel are the meatier and more exciting parts. The connecting bits in between are important, otherwise it would be very disjointed.
Silly writing self.

Word per day goal: 500

Words written today: 1122 (561 added when an idea of clarification struck right after I posted to the mininanowrimo page).

Total written to date: 10501

At this pace I will meet my mini goal of 30000 words by the middle of this month.

I am more proud of the fact that despite the hectic chaos of yesterday and the pain I am suffering today, I managed to find the time to write. So far I have only missed one actual day of writing (the 5th).

It begins tomorrow!

I will be trying to write 500 words or better a day.
I am going to begin the daunting challenge of reworking my project from last year.
The more I began to revise it the more I realized that I had left out much and that I needed to change a lot. So much that I began to have major plot holes as well as huge inconsistency to the point that I was cutting entire chunks of 3000-4000 words or more.
Finally, after listening to a podcast of Writing Excuses (Howard Taylor, Brandon Sanderson and I have forgotten the third gentleman's name) I realized that my idea was sound but the execution was not. Essentially it would be easier to start again now that I have an outline and a plan in mind.
If you were following along last year, I did not have a plan. I just wrote.
This year, I write with a purpose. I have unlike years past continued to write periodically after last year's challenge. I just haven't kept up with the writing every day.

This year my goal is to keep writing at least every other day after the mini Nanowwrimo challenge.

Witness the Cuteness

Look I have glasses! William playing with the Mr. Potato head parts.

Trick or treat William as a pumpkin for Hallowe'en 2009

Word count goal per day: 100
Word count achieved: 280

( Mage WIPCollapse )

Grab the nearest book.
Open it to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

From the book What to Expect the First Year page 56 "Although they are heavier and more cumbersome when traveling (or hopping in and out of buses or subways) then umbrella strollers (see below), they are a good choice for parents looking for durability and comfort."

I am writing this from the family lounge of the NICU.  Baby William had his last blood test at 6:00pm.  The previous two were well in the normal range.  They are not testing him again unless he looks like he is reverting.

Right now we are combo breast feeding and formula and may be that way when I get home till my milk kicks in.
He's doing great.

We anticipate heading home tomorrow if he continues to do what he is currently doing.

I will be spending the night here in one of the sleep rooms.  Andrew will be sleeping at home.

I wish we could be home now, but that's life.